Guess we know who his VP pick should be.

The Vanity Fair article also features Eliza Cooney, a former part-time babysitter who worked for Kennedy between 1998 and 1999, alleging that he groped her in his kitchen. Kennedy declined to directly acknowledge the sexual assault accusation at first, instead dismissing “the other allegations” as part of a “very, very rambunctious youth.”

“I’ve said this from the beginning. I am not a church boy. I am not running like that. I said … I had a very, very rambunctious youth. I said in my announcement speech that I have … so many skeletons in my closet, that if they could all vote, I could run for king of the world,” Kennedy said, adding, “Vanity Fair is recycling 30-year-old stories, and I, you know, am not gonna comment on the details of any of them.”

When asked directly whether he denied sexually assaulting Cooney, Kennedy repeated, “I’m not going to comment on it.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has denied allegations made in a new Vanity Fair report that he had previously eaten a dog while sidestepping accusations of sexual assault levied by a former nanny in the magazine, saying, “I’m not a church boy.”

In an interview with the “Breaking Points” political podcast released Tuesday, Kennedy called the Vanity Fair article “a lot of garbage” but acknowledged that his past included “many skeletons in my closet.”

The article alleges that Kennedy texted a message to a friend last year that included a photograph that showed him pantomiming eating a cooked animal carcass.

I said in my announcement speech that I have … so many skeletons in my closet, that if they could all vote, I could run for king of the world,” Kennedy said, adding, “Vanity Fair is recycling 30-year-old stories, and I, you know, am not gonna comment on the details of any of them.”

I’ll keep talking about the fact that working families can’t afford houses or groceries because our last two presidents went on a $14 trillion debt joyride, paid for by hard-working Americans.”

The accusations made in the Vanity Fair article come at a trying time for Kennedy’s campaign as he seeks to expand his support across the country for his independent presidential bid.

The original article contains 716 words, the summary contains 218 words. Saved 70%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!

Truly a cornucopia of choices this year.