Mine certainly hasn’t. I feel like I’ve had 27 years of downward spiral.
I’ve been slowly, but steadily collecting more and more people to miss, Watching my finances get worse and worse. My body is starting to fall apart. My life is boring, lonely and grueling. Every time I take a step forward in one area I take a step back in all the others. Therapy has been worse than useless, loved ones stop caring eventually, casual friends just disappear into the ether without a trace.
I wish I hadn’t gotten “lucky” during my previous suicide attempts, because I definitely can’t try that anymore. I wish someone could just do it for me, without me ever expecting it.
But your 30s are supposed to be easier. More stable. It’s hard to believe that’ll be the case for me, going into them with no connection to my past, no money, no marketable skills.
It’s gone up and down. I’d give anything to go back to being younger, but that’s just because my Dad died and I miss him. Otherwise though, I’m doing relatively well. Making more money than I think my parents ever made, got three great kids, an ok job, and an ok house, so I guess I have all the “traditionally” successful things going for me, but there’s always flare-ups here and there of in-the-moment disasters that make me wish I was someone else. If anything, it feels like many of the people around me are the ones with issues, I myself am a relatively boring person who doesn’t really need much to make me happy, it’s just dealing with all the BS from other people. Unfortunately, just cutting myself off or cutting them loose isn’t really an option, so… I just keep going.