I have young kids and I feel like I’ve pretty much become isolated from my friends. The ones that have kids live out of state. My best friends don’t have kids so they usually come to me, but they also have their own lives so I don’t want to bother them. And I can’t really do my hobbies. I knew it would be hard with young kids, but I didn’t realize it would be so lonely and without an outlet.
I’ve felt like this before for sure. Best advice I can offer is to try your best to include your kids in your hobbies. Sure if your hobbies were doing drugs or getting blackout drunk at the clubs, then you’ll probably not be able to bring your kids. Though if you like golf/woodworking/video games… something like that, pack up the diapers and bottles or snacks or whatever and bring them with you. Babies sleep proportionately to how much formula they drink and older kids will eat up any menial task you give them to “help”.
Give it a try. It might not be the exact experience you had before, but you may be pleasantly surprised.
I definitely fully intend to do this (I like washing the cars, which I’m sure they’ll love) but right now they’re 1 and 2, so it’s hard. I’ll have to look into hobbies that babies can do too
Great advice! And sure, if OP’s hobbies are base jumping or something else not exactly kid friendly, there’s always the opportunity to explore some new interests that the can include the kids in.
Most importantly, including your kids in your hobbies, or finding new ones together is a really rewarding way to strengthen bonds and create long lasting, positive memories for them.
There’s nothing wrong with handing off your kids once a week for some “me” time. Assuming you have a partner and reciprocate, of course.
Obviously, life and kids being unpredictable can keep that from happening reliably. But you do need and deserve adult time with your social group.
Now again, make sure you’re reciprocating for your partner, assuming you have one. They deserve their own adult time.
And of course, get a babysitter so yall can have some adult time together. Don’t underestimate the need for date night.
Hi - I don’t know if this will work for you but I joined a local volunteer firehall which helped get me out of the house 2 hours a week for practice and I met some new people, some w kids. Of course I discussed it w my wife who understood. It’s been a wise choice.
I had to look up what a fire hall is and didn’t realize it was even called something else (fire department where I am). I was kind of picturing a Valhalla type banquet hall with a lot of barbeque
My best friends don’t have kids so they usually come to me, but they also have their own lives so I don’t want to bother them
Did your best friends indicate you’re bothering them? If not, where did this narrative come from, that you’re bothering them? I’d wonder if this is just in your head and if it’s preventing you from reaching out more often.
You’re right. It’s a common way of thinking among the depressed.
