I’m old enough that it was pretty simple when I was figuring things out and felt the need to define and label myself. It was straight, gay or lesbian, and bi. I was attracted to women so not straight, men so not lesbian, ergo bi. The term covered a lot of ground back then.

I’ve never considered “pan” for very long because so many people who identified as pan a few years ago when it was being talked about a lot defined it as if attraction to things like personality and character weren’t the norm and the very idea was a novel concept discovered by themselves. Rolled my eyes, adjusted my bifocals and let the young folk get on with it. 😋

Now I’m old enough my orientation is basically the social and sexual invisibility of post-fertile middle aged women, compounded by the invisibility of chronic illness and the online nastiness towards middle aged women in general. Too much frustration trying to make myself seen as a person in most spaces.

I keep “bi” as a nod to who I used to be and times past, rather than anything others might find interesting or useful to know.