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Under cabinet manual jar opener. It’s flat and mounts under your cabinet of choice. Easy to use, but also easy to forget it’s there! I sometime find myself jar in hand and half-way to wherever my husband is before I remember that I no longer need his skills.

Electric candle lighter. Rechargeable lighter with long neck. Eliminates the need for matches or standard lighters. The noise it makes does scare one of the cats, though. I haven’t tried it on campfires yet, but I think that was something the ad said it could do.

It is still funny. I also like to think of Larsen debating whether enough people would get the joke without the Linda Blair reference. At the time he clearly thought it was helpful.

I think auto-defenestration is absolutely still on the table for Eugene.

On a clear day
Rise and look around you
And you’ll see who you are

How it will astound you
That the glow of your being
Outshines every star

Unfortunately for Eugene, not so much with the second part.

Chicago suburbs. It’s sort of an interconnected area, so this takes place over two adjoining towns.

There was a very public and stupid feud that took place between two middle aged men. Some of it played out in real life and some was documented on that now defunct website, Topix. One of them had been close friends with the the police officer who was convicted of killing at least one wife. I think he was also a cop. In any case, he was very vocal in defending Drew and anything the other guy said about the murder trial really seemed to get his goat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drew_Peterson

The other guy claimed to be connected with the Chicago outfit. Or the cop claimed he was. I don’t remember.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Outfit

Basically, it was two vaguely mobbed up guys in their 50s engaging in a very public and embarrassing battle of fists and wits in an otherwise unassuming suburb. They would trade insults on Topix, get into slap fights with each other at the local supermarket, and generally just behave like leaded gasoline sniffing idiots. Neither could just walk away from it. Both used their real full names.

$70k USD - 3 bed, 2.5 bath, 1400sq ft., 0.3 acre lot, two stories and a detached garage. The interior needs plenty of non-cosmetic work (e.g. - new flooring)

$75k USD - 2 bed, 1 bath, 800sq ft., 0.15 acre lot; newly redone floors, electric and paint.

After that, there’s about 10 more in the 125-150K range.

I was really expecting a “prison rat” punchline.

That’s a sign of a good friend.

“Hold on, there’s a stick on your back. Let me get it.”

VS.

“There’s a spider on your back.”

I watched the Gormenghast miniseries on the Space Channel many many years ago and eventually read the books. They were interesting. Not something I’d want to revisit, but definitely weird.

It’s time to pay the price.

The listing is as bonkers as you would expect.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/354-County-Road-211-Bremen-AL-35033/215031920_zpid/?

They’ve also got a really elaborate dock/marina/enclosed fishing hole on the lake.

If I had the millions I’d buy it, torch all the furniture (except that one crazy ass bed), and redecorate.

Probably should have added a spoiler, but didn’t think about it because of the good outcome.

I love how she puffs to show she means business and then just launches herself into the attack. Even though that eagle was huge, they were not going to get an easy meal!

Superb Owl material for sure.

I like some of the names from Puritan New England.

Cutting Moody

Tristram Coffin

I like some of the names from Puritan New England.

Cutting Moody

Tristram Coffin

Honestly, that part made me laugh harder. It’s funny without it for sure. But the idea of these feckless birds who could have avoided all of that if they’d just taken the time to read the damn label makes it so much sillier.

That live feed is great.

I saw her earlier today, ripping up dead prey and feeding it to her two babies! They were covered in gore, but still adorable. And hungry! I had no idea baby owls could eat pieces as large as they did.

Nailed it.

I don’t think that this cartoon was an intentional reference to crack. (Sadly - that’s a great punchline.) The date on the cartoon is 1980, which would have been marginally too early for crack to exist. It certainly wouldn’t have been an idea that was floating around mainstream culture.

I was curious enough to look it up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_epidemic_in_the_United_States

It’s just Larson being a master of weird, non-sequitur humor. And in this case, foretelling the future of underworld transactions in the 80s. Maybe not all psychics are quacks after all.

I’ve been through it many times and expect to see many more. Both as the subject of an acquisition and as an acquiree. You just have to wait and see. If they’re not immediately closing you down, there will be a transition period. Months to a year or more. That’s where you need to be looking for a new job if that seems like a remotely feasible option.

With regard to your personal decision, do not trust what you’re being told. The company wants a smooth transition and that means that the company wants to be the one making the decisions about who is working for them. They can and will lie.

The exception to this is if they ask you to stay on while they close out operations at your site. In that case they’ve already lowered the hammer, you’re on borrowed time anyway, and it doesn’t matter to them.

(Also - if you’re given this option, consider it carefully before accepting. The folks I know who have done this have described it as a depressing and completely unpleasant experience. They all claimed they wouldn’t do it again. If you choose to do so, ask for more money to compensate for the therapy you’ll need afterwards. Be bold with your offer because it’s a job that very few want to do.)

Generally speaking, the first thing that should happen is that the new company will harmonize efficiencies. This means cutting redundant departments, projects, or products. Expect to see a lot of strangers on site who are evaluating this. Non-specialized departments like finance, HR, legal, and support IT will be merged and streamlined. And do not expect that the highest performing department will survive. It’s often the cheapest one who does. If the team in Kentucky can do a good enough job, it makes no sense for them to retain a higher paid workforce in DC. I’ve seen that sort of thing happen. (It’s also sometimes a selling point for the company being bought. 🤮)

After that, it just depends on 1) why they bought you and 2) what they thought they were buying. If they find out that part of the acquired company isn’t something they want but is valuable enough to re-sell rather than shut down, you may be in for a head-spinning transition between several buyers.

Overall -

The experience is a big shake-up, but I’ve gone through eight or so unscathed as a mid level employee. It all depends on lots of things outside of your control. It will help if you can accept that these things are beyond your control or beyond your ability to foresee. I can also assure you that there’s a good probability that the people in charge won’t be making good or sensible decisions.

Expect to see many of your co-workers jump ship, but that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s the kick in the ass that people need to make a change. That’s often a very good thing.

Same, but I’d probably go with Bree. I’m a bit tall for the Shire. Also, Bree seems a little more lively and they have a thing called ‘pints.’