My husband has had a metal USB stick that is shaped like a key and is very thin specifically for this purpose. I don’t know the brand as it’s not printed on it, but it’s lasted him a long time and I would assume it to win this contest by a landslide. Excellent analysis, very interesting!
For reference, it looks like this (not the same brand):
Since nobody actually answered the question: Menards is a massive hardware store chain in the Midwest. When I say it’s massive, it has everything you could ever need in a hardware store and more. Like there are usually multiple floors, a lumber yard, highly specialized sections, and even a small grocery section with food, pet supplies, clothing, etc. it’s definitely the greatest hardware store ever conceived, but unfortunately the man who owns them is batshit crazy in classic Wisconsin fashion.