Mate, I think you’re missing the point - whether you “deserve” bad things or not is completely irrelevant - bad things happen to good people all the time, the universe does not care.
The only thing you can do is try to be better; but not on other people’s judgement just yours - you are the only person who has to live with your conscience.
You may go to jail if you’re doing illegal shit tho…
I’m trying to be better, but I’ve done some stuff I’m not proud of…