Yeah, he thinks he’s using a fire extinguisher, but I’m pretty sure it’s full of gasoline.

I dunno man. I reeeeaaaallly wanted to smash something when Saint Anger came out.

Here in Seattle we had a polite riot after the superbowl. We were partying in the street until the light turned green, then shuffled back to the sidewalk. As soon as the light turned red again, we would flood back into the street.

German efficiency at its best.

Man. We fucked up so many things during that game, and still inexplicably got let back into it at the end. Then we fucked that up.

I’m still trying to find a D.A.R.E. beer koozie.

You reap what you sow, Browns. You finally got a top-fifteen QB after decades of shit. He takes you to the playoffs and you beat the hated Steelers. Then you run him out of town and give big money to a serial sex offender who has done nothing but suck.

You shit in this bed, now you have to sleep in it.

MacArthur was a bit crazy in that regard…

Ocarina of Time

Players still aren’t allowed to gamble. Coaches sure aren’t. Player- coaches sure as fuck aren’t. Player-coaches who pull themselves in high- pressure situations for a Mendoza-line player can get fucked.

I thought that those were levels of price reduction.

.99 is normal

.98 is on sale

.97 is deep sale, never going to be cheaper

That’s how my buddy who worked at WallyWorld 20 years ago explained it.

Can we parlay this into some school vouchers?

The only surprising part of any of this is that this asshole apologized to her neighbor.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m gonna keep repeating this.

There are no good guys in this fight.

There are only sides.

You can choose a side, but you have to realize that that side has done terrible things to innocent people for terrible reasons.

Yes?

What’s the point of taking a vacation if I don’t get to send my coworkers pictures of my airport mimosa as they’re clocking in at 8am?

I can sing the Blazing Saddles theme song pretty decent. Final offer.

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said ‘No. But I want a regular banana later. So yes.’

Nope. 1.5 million dead Americans including my dad, shutdown economy and blatant racism making a comeback? No thanks. Don’t want.

I was thinking about Khashoggi, but fair point.