The “as geography permits” part is a big obstacle, unfortunately.

oh shit, it’s my turn? uhh, umm…

… dodge action?

In my experience, the D&D community is very welcoming to newcomers. In addition to the classic online LFG stuff (lemmy, reddit, discord), I would give your local hobby shop(s) a visit. Chances are they host weekly games, or at the very least can point you in the right direction.

I will say, with D&D 5e, they really made an effort to streamline the learning curve, and it shows. I’ll message you a tool I found really helpful for learning the rules.

(Also, don’t limit yourself to D&D! There are plenty of great pen and paper roleplaying systems out there. Call of Cthulhu is a great example of one I’ve been meaning to play.)