Usually the blood work will vary heavily depending on when you last took a dose. When I get blood work, I do it right before I am going to inject so that the blood levels are at the lowest they could be (the “trough”). With oral I would imagine your E blood levels will fluctuate significantly, so when you last took a pill will make a big difference in terms of what your blood labs show.

The problem with taking larger and larger oral doses is that it doesn’t absorb better and you are just potentially taxing your liver. At the very least I would try out sublingual route and see if that helps 🤷‍♀️

I wish you luck dear, it’s not easy figuring this stuff out (esp. with clueless doctors).

So your testosterone is really low !! But I would personally consider estrogen too low, though you know your own body best. When did you get the blood work done compared to the last dose you took?

I think the common conservative recommendation is to have between 100 - 200 pg/mL so your blood work looks good on paper, but I personally found below 300 at trough was mentally difficult for me. I use estrogen as my anti-androgen (“monotherapy”), so I take a larger dose than most.

You might consider aiming for higher blood levels of E and with a better & safer route of administration.

I am a wuss too, it was extremely difficult for me to overcome my needle phobia (I mean, literally breaking down crying after some injections, taking a long time to overcome the mental block to actually push the needle in, just so so so hard for me). But you do get used to it, and it’s not bad after you get some practice.

Also, I inject subcutaneously, so I use really small needles that don’t hurt at all (literally, I sometimes can’t feel the needle). That was crucial for me in overcoming needle phobia, I think it would be much harder to inject intramuscularly (IM).

Even if you still can’t do injections, I would encourage doing something to avoid oral, even sublingual troches which have their own problems might still help with absorption, and even better would be patches or gel.

If you haven’t already read it, I highly recommend reading this: https://transfemscience.org/articles/transfem-intro/

It’s a bit long and technical, but it might help (it certainly helped me).

You’ve been on HRT for a decade? If you don’t mind me asking, what ester & dose and what route of administration? Do you get blood tests and if so what are your levels like?

IRL I met some trans elders who had been on HRT for a while and didn’t see any effects from it (almost no breast growth or much change to their face beyond skin softening some, etc.). I think they were taking the estrogen orally, and they weren’t sure exactly about their blood levels, but they thought they were fine.

When taken orally, I think around 80% of the estrogen is filtered out by the liver, so it can be hard to get enough estrogen that way and there are peaks and troughs multiple times a day (it is ideal when taking oral to dose 3 - 5 times a day to ensure even and adequate estrogen through the day). Patches & gel are all better than oral, but injections seem the best in terms of getting a consistently high enough level of estrogen.

Sorry, I still don’t understand where you are coming from. Do you mean a loophole to avoid discrimination against you, or a loophole that enables discrimination?

EDIT: If it’s the latter, LGBTQ+ housing discrimination is legal because the Fair Housing Act does not mention sexual orientation or gender identity as protected classes, so housing discrimination based on those attributes are legal by default, and only outlawed in states that passed legislation to do so, see the map here.

If you are asking about the mechanism of how discrimination works, and how to evade that discrimination as a person in a LGBTQ+ category, that is a big topic and the answers are highly contextual. The obvious strategy is to try to hide or make less obvious your sexual orientation or gender identity, which is easier for some and impossible for others.

For example, if you are a married same-sex couple who both want to be on a lease together, it might to be harder to hide your sexual orientation from a potential landlord you are trying to get that lease with. Others might find a way to make it seem as though they are just roommates. Not every gay person is equally capable of passing as straight.

Another example: if you have recently started transitioning and you are visibly trans (i.e. not cis-passing), you are much more likely to have your application to rent an apartment or house denied (HUD found in 2011 that 19% of trans people surveyed reported this happening to them). Whether you are cis-passing is based on a lot of factors out of your control, such as how much money and time you can sink into your transition (e.g. many trans people can’t afford expensive laser hair removal and gender affirming surgeries), how early you started your transition, how long you have been transitioning, whether you are taking hormones, and of course a lot of it is dependent on genetics.

Are you asking how housing discrimination happens?

aw, that’s nice - I’ve heard good things about progesterone as well!

Yeah, I agree that it is time consuming and distracting. When I was able to do it, I was studying full-time so I could afford the time and effort.

These days I hardly look up any words (digitally or otherwise) 😭

this probably won’t help you, but just in case:

I went through a phase in my development where I had to look up a lot of words in the dictionary. There was a constant tension between wanting to stay with what I was reading and wanting to look up a word.

I got in the habit of keeping a pad of paper and a pencil nearby when reading, and I made it a habit to look up each word I wanted to know - I could either look it up later and keep reading, or I could look it up right then. After a while I got faster at navigating the alphabetic order of the dictionary and I could open the dictionary close to where the word would be. It was just a matter of practice.

Writing the word down was not just a deferral strategy, but also a way for me to memorize and appreciate the word I looked up - I put in effort to stop reading and look it up in a separate book, and when I first started I would keep forgetting the word and I had to look up words multiple times. Writing it down at first let me quickly refer back to recent words I was trying to learn or remember, but I noticed even just writing it at all made it more likely I wouldn’t forget in the first place (so my pad of paper wasn’t even all that necessary as a reference, though I could and sometimes did use it that way).

This is all much more effort than the digital approaches you are talking about, but it was a method that really helped me learn. I would say the learning phase was really intensive for a three to four month period, then it leveled out and I was looking up words less frequently and it was less necessary. It was especially helpful to study the etymology and learn Latin and Greek roots, which then helped me piece together the meaning of words without a dictionary (just from context and etymological guesses). For a while I even stopped carrying a dictionary, and instead carried a concise etymology dictionary, which let me learn the roots of the word and generally had much less about the definition (but gave me better access to the meaning and being able to memorize it).

I haven’t read him, but Brandon Sanderson has been mentioned to me more than once for his world-building. I’ve heard good things about Tress of the Emerald Sea, though I don’t know how world-buildy it is compared to his other books.

I agree, download and archive them.

of course!

Oh, I love that - greyscale as a warning.

For a while I had my whole phone on greyscale, but I don’t have trouble with spending time on my phone - it’s really the laptop that I have an issue with.

Maybe I should write software to conditionally greyscale my desktop/laptop screen!

Thanks for the link and details, so helpful!

for anyone who doesn’t have the time or want to watch the video, here’s a description:

Yeah, I like to get distracted and sucked into things, esp. on the computer. When I get that way I don’t get hungry or thirsty, I don’t realize I need to use the restroom, etc. - just completely ignoring the body (which is nice for me). I’m pretty sure it ruins my posture and creates muscular-skeletal problems, too.

Either way, interesting idea about listening to sounds or music - maybe that would increase enjoyment, but I worry it would reduce the usefulness of the resting (part of what I think helps is that I seclude my senses and I usually lie down in a quiet and dark place). Still, something to explore and see if it wouldn’t make it easier to motivate me to do it instead of rotting on the screen.

I agree about the styles on ThredUp, I had a hard time finding stuff I loved in my size. I need to go back to it, but I have some cognitive dissonance about shopping, so when I finally feel like doing it, I’m usually overdo and I end up shopping places like pact and Torrid.

You’re right about the shoes, btw - I don’t really know anywhere else to get shoes 😅

hey thanks!

One thing I have noticed is that I sometimes turn to this impulsive behavior when I feel really tired and I just need to rest, and I think of scrolling social media as an enjoyable kind of mental and physical break. So I’ve tried a few times to just set a timer on my phone and lay down and close my eyes for a bit instead, which makes me feel much more rested and works better as a break for my mind and body than scrolling social media.

However, this requires the awareness in the moment that the motivation for the social media impulsivity is that I’m tired and that I need a break, and I need the additional will-power to choose the better and admittedly less fun sounding alternative of actually resting - so as you can imagine establishing that new behavior has been a losing battle.

Anyway - I appreciate your positivity, thanks for your question and comments!!

What timer do you use, and does it lock access after a set time or does it just notify you when the alarm goes off?

EDIT: I found this app: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/mind-the-time/

It keeps track of how much time you spend on different websites (so not so much an intervention / reminder as a time tracker).

That is good advice, but I don’t have any apps and I don’t tend to spend much time on my phone. I find the mobile UI annoying, so it’s really desperation when I turn to a phone to browse a place like Reddit. Usually I do it when I have a burning question that I want to explore and I’m not otherwise able to use my desktop or laptop.

I’m trying to find a way to nudge myself away from this impulsivity on desktop, which the redirecting helped do. I keep thinking maybe I could write some javascript and use greasemonkey to load it and do what I need.

1. I prefer to feel in control, and when I notice impulsivity and difficulty stopping or changing the behavior, it’s a red flag for me
2. the amount of time spent is too much and I find it wasteful, the time could be better utilized, even if on a different down-time or recreational activity which leaves me feeling better or is more enriching
3. Lemmy / Reddit / whatever social media usually has some content that is useful or good in some way, but I would say most of the content I consume when engaging impulsively ends up not supporting my mental health (e.g. doomscrolling is a more common outcome from this impulsive behavior than, for example, engaging with community or other reasons that I seek these places in the first place).

Other addicts are exactly the people to ask.