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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 3rd, 2023

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  • I think it falls into the same pitfalls as most super niche communities, like a lot of subreddits did.

    For example, the shaving subreddit (/r/wicked_edge I think?). Its mission statement was to introduce people to cleaner, safer, and more efficient shaving methods. And for the most part, with all of its resources and wikis, it successfully did it. But if you choose to stay after you’ve made your informed purchases, the posts were mostly braggarts showing off their latest hundreds-of-dollars handles, supreme razor blades, brushes made from actual gold, that sort of thing. My point is, the average person (by my guess, like 90% of people going to the site) gets the information they need and then never participate in the community again. But those who stay are those who really want to stay– people who are most likely to brag and boast. So over time, it falls more and more into plain old dick measuring contests.

    This obviously isn’t true of all communities, but I think it’s a common pitfall for a lot of them. I can imagine privacy is very similar: take all the steps you can to learn to protect your privacy, and then… you’re good, for the most part.










  • To me, what you’re describing is exactly monogamy, but you’re classifying it wrong. Sure, you have a lot of partners before you find your “the one”. I’ve had 3 so far. But that doesn’t exclude you from monogamy once you’ve had your first partner, which is what you brushed off in your first sentence. Monogamy is one partner at a time, not that you find one person at the very beginning and get it right the very first time.

    The idea of finding “the one” is, to me, someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. And it takes a long time to find that person. And there’s more than one “the one” out there! I know that sounds contradictory, but come on, there’s 8 billion people out there, any set of desirable traits you could write down are shared by who knows how many hundreds of thousands of people. So you date lots of people, get to know lots of people, and then when you find someone who checks all your checkboxes and who you can see living with til death do you part, then you stay with them.

    One might say one person for who knows how many dozens of years could get boring, or that one person at a time is too restrictive. To them I’d say, that’s fine, you’re polyamorous or something of the sort, and that’s okay. But to me, having one and just one partner is special. I’m entirely theirs and they’re entirely mine (in a romantic way, not a possessive way), and that’s just how I like it. I want someone, just one person, I can always rely on to watch a terrible movie with, always have a player two, always rant to or be ranted to, and so on. That’s what makes it special. The exclusiveness is part of the charm, I suppose-- it’s not just any old person they want, it’s me they want. And my feeling is mutual to them.

    I don’t think I wrote this exactly the way I wanted it to come out, and I mulled over it a couple times, but I hope I got my point across. Everyone’s different, and that’s okay.