Conversation in a future space Starbucks: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Yes sir…”

Conversation in my local Starbucks tomorrow: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Sir, I have a taser and pepper spray, if you leave now, I won’t call the cops.”

Had a friend borrow a large sum of money from me. Yes, I did it. Yes, I was repaid on time.