Ugh, I bet that quick whiplash of real support to rejection and denial was really hard. I’m not really sure what’s going on there — AMAB people dressing more feminine is always seen so negatively even by people who purport to be progressive.
A music festival is such a good environment for experimenting with your presentation! Maybe try to make time for that alone if you can?
It’s such a bummer you can’t get in any counseling. I also couldn’t find anyone who took my insurance so I pay out of pocket for it ($85/visit) which sucks.
My new name/pronouns felt really foreign to me for a long time honestly. I used they/them for a while until i felt “femme enough” for she/her (whatever that means) and these days i’m they/she.
It just took some time for that to go away. Other people gendering you properly can help reinforce that it’s correct.