Been on a Notesnook kick myself

Damn. Too real.

I’m a 25 transfemme in East Tennessee. I used to be a Kentuckian until I moved closer to family due to an abusive relationship at the time, about mid 2021. I’m happy to say I’ve found a person here who treats me spectacularly, and while I’ve given this state my best attempt to find a home here… the people who run this state are genuinely Evil. I didn’t really believe in evil until talk about “g*nital inspections” started coming up in this state and others for dictating incredibly dehumanizing policies onto an already incredibly vulnerable minority. Disgusting hateful nonsense cloaked in religion plagues this state, the birthplace of the KKK. My partner is from here and she’s more interested in staying and fighting or waiting the situation out. I’m incredibly conflicted. It seems like every day a law against us isn’t coming out is just another day they’re plotting to attack us in our weakest points. I find myself daydreaming about me and my partner trying out long-distance until she figures out employment where I would be after moving to a relatively non-freedom-infringing state like Minnesota or Michigan. I just don’t know which path to go down. We’re both believers in armed self-defense, and one advantage of being in a deep-red state is being able to be strapped out in public while looking adorable. I value that agency to be oneself and assert that you will Not be bothered. In some sense, I would like to leave the United States altogether, but I don’t know what the winds have in store for me. I just despise with all the hate in my heart what is happening here and even abroad with UK’s transphobic fervor and Uganda’s green-lighting of queer genocide. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but there are two incredibly determined forces gearing up to smashing head-on into each other after a multitude of skirmishes and punditry no longer suffice. Life itself is going through one great turning of the wheel, it seems.