There is a house I walk by occasionally that I absolutely love. It’s old and run down but definitely art deco in a modest kind of way, with round balconies and a gold brick doorway. As a joke, I keep telling people this is my future house.

I say as a joke because I am a broke millennial. I have accepted my fate of never moving past paying rent for a place to live and spending the remainder of my minimalist income on avocado toast and oat milk lattes.

But recently, I saw a “For Sale” sign in front of the house and this is probably my only chance to ever see its art deco interior, if any is left, before it’s all turned into a modern and soulless place.

I have called the seller and I overheard its asking price when they referred to it as the “1.1 million euro house”. They asked twice if that was indeed the one I wanted to visit.

The visit date will be set next week.

Now, how do I sound like I’m the kind of person who doesn’t flinch at the idea of spending a million euros on a house? What questions do I ask? What might they ask me in return? What are things I shouldn’t say?

Some extra information:

  • This is in Brussels, Belgium
  • A permit was requested to split the house into 5 apartments (2 floors could be built above the existing 3)
  • It was originally built as a single family home

Edit: this is the house

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UPDATE

I got a phone call last Monday about the house. They offered a visit that very day. So I quickly got ready. I tried to make myself look legit (thanks @boogetyboo@aussie.zone and @ultranaut@lemmy.world for the advice) by downloading the permit info, printing it and putting it inside a notebook. It was new and blank, so to make it look used, I added a few papers and paperclips sticking out and a big binder clip holding it open at a random page, where I took some notes: permit number, number of rooms, asking price.

I then met with the real estate guy, I felt apprehensive but excited. I greeted him and he asked if I was more interested in the single home or the apartment project. I said it would be apartments but I was open-minded about the single home. I told him the funds were coming from a relative. I asked if I could take photos for them. And then we started the tour.

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A big round staircase is the first thing I saw. Beautiful parquet with exotic wood. Round panels bringing light in here and there. One room still had big yellow flower wallpaper.

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My first thought was that the place was much bigger than it looked.

The basement was very damp and moldy in some places. The electrical system was very outdated.

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The gound floor still had a wooden built-in cabinet.

I saw a succession of big rooms, rounded edges, big windows. Lots of light.

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Next floor still had a bathroom with red tiles, a bidet and very old fixtures. A rusty balcony with windows rounded at the corners.

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I asked a little about the house. It was built in 1926, belonged to a doctor.

The plaster was falling off the walls, which were cracked in places. The house seems to have been unused for decades.

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The real estate guy told me he estimated the repairs to be probably around another million euros.

Next floor was much of the same, it had a very cool cast iron fireplace with rounded shelves. We walked on a pretty sizeable terrace and looked down at the garden. There was the nicest little staircase curving down to the (overgrown) garden that was just way too damaged to be saved. It was heartbreaking to see everything so broken and rusted. (I don’t have photos of it, my bad.)

There was an old minuscule kitchen in a corner. It had sideways cabinets to save space.

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I asked about several things (thanks @eezeebee@lemmy.ca and @JaY_III@lemmy.ca for the suggestions), whether there was a humidity problem, whether the cracks were structural, whether the garage got flooded, whether that was asbestos around the basement pipes, and each time the real estate guy said “Hm, I don’t know”. Like thanks but you’re not helping me in my decision.

At one point the guy said I could make a lower offer - like a million - if I wanted it as a single home.

Outside I said we’d keep in touch. I don’t know how passable I was, but he did ask me if I was an architect, so maybe I had some credibility?

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So then I went home. I was happy that I finally got to see the house and that it still had stuff inside, but very sad that it is in the shape it is and that I can’t save it.

  • CaptDust@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    The easiest approach would likely be “scouting” on behalf of an associate, perhaps they couldn’t make it and sent you. Take lots of pictures for your associate, and you’re not personally involved with the purchase makes it easier to handwave questions.

    If you insist on pretending to be rich keep discussion light, talk about potential renovations, take pictures to send to your designer. Ask about the history of the home, dig for unique characteristics. Inquire about the area and what kind of “crowds” to expect. Don’t dress too fancy, don’t pull up in a 09 civic (park around the block and walk), and if they ask, you made a small fortune trading crypto.

    • cm0002@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      This is the perfect answer OP, a rich person would most likely never want to see a place like this in person, they’d “send someone”

      • waldenA
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        2 months ago

        People look at expensive houses more often than not. You can definitely send someone, though, like if you’re looking at a house in a different city and can’t get there just for a showing. We did that once and had our friend do a video chat with us.

      • CaptDust@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Holy shit OP DELIEVERED. Fantastic stuff, thanks for sharing! Glad you got your opportunity to check it out.

  • CompassRed@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 months ago

    Just say you recently came into some inheritance and that you are looking into investment opportunities. Then they will expect you to be out of your element, so you won’t need to try to pretend you’re someone you’re not. If they ask about the inheritance, say your grandfather made a fortune selling lumber or something boring like that.

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    2 months ago

    “Hi, I’m Vincent Adultman. Just in case you’re wondering, I’m definitely not 3 kids in a trenchcoat pretending to be an adult. Now let’s do a business.”

  • proudblond@lemmy.world
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    I’m from California so my wealth meter is broken beyond all reason. Is 1.1 million euros really considered “rich?” Everybody’s making jokes about wearing a monocle or not asking questions about flooding and I’m sitting here thinking about the house on my street that sold for about that much recently…and is a tear-down. 😭

    Edit: actually wait, it was more like twice that much… it was like $2.3 mil and there’s no way they do any less than strip it to the framing.

    • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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      2 months ago

      There’s no comparison.

      Your housing is so badly and cheaply constructed that if you tried to build like that, even in Belgium, the council would demand you tear it down at your own expense and start again

      This is a perfectly good, liveable, hundred year old house in need of renovating, that’ll easily last another hundred

      Also depends where it is. There are parts where a million will get you a 3 bedroom cottage, and parts where that’ll get you a castle

      • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        There are 100 year old houses in America made of fine timber or brick that look better than this and will last longer.

        It’s a big country. Modern construction is rarely built to last, but there are millions of homes here that would fit your description without issue.

          • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
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            I don’t have plasterboard walls. They are lath and plaster.. The studs and framing are beautiful old hardwood.

            It’s a sturdy and lovely old house that has stood the test of time. It’s one of the millions in the states that I was talking about.

          • proudblond@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            So will an earthquake. It may be “cheap” but we do it that way because it’s light. At least in California. That way if it falls on you, you might not die.

            • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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              2 months ago

              At least that’s what the builder told you so he could buy his third boat lol

    • thr0w4w4y2@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      yeah. That kind of money is top 5% of homes in most of Europe outside very wealthy areas and districts like Zurich. In the UK the average house price is about £300k ($400k)

    • Meltrax@lemmy.world
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      Yeah dude. I’m in Boston. It isn’t San Fran levels yet but if you want a lot (with a rotting house on it) that will be a nice $2mil and then you can enjoy removing the rotted house.

    • Ziggurat@sh.itjust.works
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      A quick search tell me that in Belgium the minimal wage is 2000€ sauce before tax.

      So yes one million is above a lifetime of work for many persons, definitely rich

      Edit formatting

      • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        There’s a guy on the internet who does videos comparing Vancouver real estate with literal European castles of a similar price. “Not livable” money in Vancouver can get you “has gardens and outbuildings with servant’s quarters” in some parts of Europe.

        • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          We sold a townhouse in the lower mainland and bought a house on an acre+ in middle BC with some money left over.

          Vancouver is ridiculous.

    • cygnus@lemmy.ca
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      Same, and also with experience in the construction business, so my first thought was that 220k per door for apartments is quite reasonable. I wouldn’t fret about it at all, because in the grand scheme of things this is chump change. Just say you’re getting into real estate investing with a business partner.

  • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Some wealthy people don’t give a shit whether you believe they have wealth. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone until and unless you make an offer. Ask questions, and don’t answer questions. Give vague, short responses and neglect to elaborate.

    • abcd@feddit.org
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      This is the correct answer. Don’t overthink this. Just go, have a look and that’s it. Tell everybody involved that you don’t have to proof anything if they ask.

      I know people who could afford this house easily that walk around like a regular farmer. Sales people having regular contact with wealthy people know this.

    • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
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      It also doesn’t matter how you dress or the car you drive. The wealthiest person I’ve ever met dressed in sweat pants or jeans 99% of the time and drove like a 5 year old standard suv most of the time.

      I only found out he was rich when I was talking to another employee at the mall where I worked that this guy would regularly come into the jewelry store and drop 25k on watches for friends like once or twice a month.

      Once I was in the jewelry store when he and his wife were in to get her ring cleaned and my friend casually asked how much they paid for the ring and he was like idk I got diamond wholesale from a friend in the jewelry trade for 250k and paid some Private designer to design the ring and make it for them by hand.

  • OldFartPhil@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    I’m assuming open houses aren’t a thing in Belgium? In the US, it’s no big deal to walk in to an open house and just tell the agent that you live in the neighborhood, like the house and have always wanted to see the inside. They’re usually pretty chill about that.

  • tuckerm@supermeter.social
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    2 months ago

    “What schools are nearby?”

    “Is the walk in humidor full or partial?”

    “Can the windows be taken out for moving in large furniture? I own Salvador Dali’s favorite piano.”

    • whaleross@lemmy.world
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      “What are the local regulations for a rooftop helicopter platform?”

      “At what depth are the subways should I have built a multilevel wine cellar?”

      “Can you recommend a personal security firm in the area?”

      • swab148@lemm.ee
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        “What are the permit costs for building an aquarium? Unrelated, but what are the exotic animal laws here?”

        “Would it be possible to build a copy of this room, but 1/8th the size?”

        “How big is the local Dutch population?”

  • gjoel@programming.dev
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    I thought this would be about being s whole lot more wealthy, so I had questions ready a colleague of mine overheard from a seven year old.

    “What is your estate called?”

    “How many barrels of land does your family own?”

    When it comes to a million euro house, I don’t think you need to behave that differently from what’s your norm. People from every walk of life can come into that kind of money, be it from inheritance, a good job, lucky investment or help from parents. Just pretend it’s a house you can barely afford and ask questions as if you’re considering buying it. Point out flaws. Or don’t, you’re allowed to reserve judgement.

    • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
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      Yeah, this is the normal price of a house in many large cities. It’s a lot mind you, but an adult in a high paying field can get a mortgage that covers that.

      You don’t need a million dollars to buy a million dollar house. You need to be able to make a million dollars and enough to live on in 30yrs, or whatever the length of the mortgage is. Someone in their 30s-40s can fit that bill, so just be yourself.

      If they ask if you have financing, say yes. If they ask more questions, say you will be glad to discuss that after the tour. Afterwards, just politely say you’re not interested and leave.

  • CaptainBasculin@lemmy.ml
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    Questions to ask if you feel like it:

    How much does an average apartment go by in rent around this area? (This’ll create the assumption that you’ll buy it all and put all apartments to rent)

    How’s the neighborhood? How noisy is it on a scale of 1-10?

    Are there spaces to park multiple cars?

  • eezeebee@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    Ask if there’s any history of water damage or flooding - it looks like the garage would let water flow down into it. There are visible cracks near the roof. Important things to know to protect your “investment”.

    Also, please do follow up. I want to know how this goes.

    • cm0002@lemmy.world
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      I don’t think a rich person who “won’t flinch at spending 1.1 million euros” would actually ask those questions, they’d just spend whatever they need on it lol

      Like a 60k repair to them would be like 50$ to you or me

      • eezeebee@lemmy.ca
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        You make a good point. Still, I think it depends. I can see a multi-millionaire caring more about their $50 than the average person. 60k on 1.1mil is more than 5%. And when your primary goal is to gather as much wealth as possible, that matters - that’s 60k that isn’t making them more money, plus time for construction that delays making more money on the investment.

    • late_night@sopuli.xyzOP
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      2 months ago

      Thanks for the suggestions, I did ask about those. The agent had no idea but it made me sound more legit. Also, I posted an update!

  • boogetyboo@aussie.zone
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    2 months ago

    Having bought 2 in my lifetime so far my approach has always been to say bugger all to the agent. I owe them nothing. If I have questions I ask, if they ask me questions I give them the most limited information possible, obviously being polite. I always kept my cards close to my chest until it was time to lift the auction paddle.

    Say very little; it’s none of their business. Dress how you normally would.

    • late_night@sopuli.xyzOP
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      2 months ago

      Thanks for your advice. This helped me feel less nervous about the visit. I did stay vague but friendly when he asked me personal questions.

  • JaY_III@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    You want to know rental prices for each unit. The last assessed tax rate. How the utilities are paid, ie, each unit has its own billing or if its all comon. What the building rates for utilities are that are not covered by the renters. Age of all building utility like water boiler / heat or anything like that and if they are on a maintenance contract. And as you walk around you are inspecting for what repairs need to be done. No need to look impressed by what you see, you are only looking to see if the property will be a cash generation machine or money pit.

    Aka ack like a landlord

    • late_night@sopuli.xyzOP
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      2 months ago

      Thanks, I wrote down all your questions in my notebook. Turns out everything has to be redone so that was easy. This house is definitely a money pit. But if I had infinite money, I would totally restore it.

  • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Show up in a ripped shirt with a mustard stain on it looking dazed and slightly disinterested, like you already visited 4-5 houses that day.