So, I am a minor, at this point almost 100% a trans woman and I sometimes suddenly have these urges when I am with either of my parents to tell them. I know they are transphobic and most likely wouldn’t accept me, but I still get this feeling and I hate it.
So sorry you’re going through this. I leaned into this in the past and just threw it in people’s faces because I was so done being closeted and self-hating. It felt awesome in the moment, but it didn’t go well for me.
I personally have never been able to exorcise this feeling without coming out. But since you are still dependent on your parents - is there any way to express these feelings through art or some other activity? Physical exercise and killing things in video games helps me with the rage, while art-making has occasionally helped my feelings of grief and sadness.
It’s so hard. It probably isn’t much comfort, but you’re not alone in feeling like this.