I bit my nails my whole life. One day I tasted lime. I hadn’t eaten anything with lime for 3 days. I had wiped my ass maybe 10 minutes prior. That experience yucked me out of biting for good. Been over 2 years now since I’ve so much as nibbled.
The real question is whether sustainable jet fuel can melt steel beams.
I really hope I say this without sounding rude. People who look pretty or attractive by society’s standards put a lot of effort into their appearance. It’s a lot to maintain your skin, hair, strength, weight, etc.
I’m sure you put effort in, I’m not trying to discount that. I do think there are some things you could be doing to help feminize your appearance however.
The disappointing thing is that most of those things I just mentioned won’t change, or will change very little from HRT. I hope you can find support and encouragement to do what makes you happy. All I mean to say is that you may need to explore some options in addition to things you are already doing. It is not hopeless!
I think you’re asking for advice, so here’s mine on makeup: practice makes perfect.
It is an art, like sketching, painting, or anything else. Even if you find a good tutorial, you’re still going to need to practice. Part of your learning process may include an afternoon where you apply makeup, wipe it off, and apply a few more times so that you can really hone in on some things.
Don’t be afraid of cheap makeup, especially while you’re learning. Once you know what works for you, then you may decide you want to get some fancier products.
I wake up, all the chores were done the day before. I have nowhere to be. My wife and I make our coffee and sit outside. The weather is cool enough to be comfortable with a blanket. We sit in silence mostly, observing the changing autumn leaves.
We meander, doing nothing of importance all day and go nowhere until we pick up a deep dish pizza from our favorite local restaurant. We take it home and eat it on out couch while our cats watch enviously.
We go to bed, and fall asleep immediately.
That last one from Jane is so fun, I’m sad her channel isn’t more active.
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The only thing I could think would be to try and develop your fast twitch muscles fibers over your slow twitch.
The unfortunate reality is that the mechanisms in our muscles that give us strength increase the volume of our cells the more effective they are. Of course you can be strong and lean, but at some point more strength = more mass.
Sorry if this type of post isn’t allowed, I got excited because Natalie’s videos have been a pretty big part of my journey.
You are incredibly lucky to have a mom like her. Happy for you ☺️
Steve Jobs was wealthy despite having a salary of $1 per year.
Since the intention is to communicate to people from outside this community, it needs to be clear to anyone at a glance. Rather than bogging down the title of a post, it might work well to make a banner at the top of a post’s description. Such as:
[Seeking engagement from anyone]
[Seeking engagement from the Transfem community]
[Seeking engagement from cisgendered people]
Easy for anyone to find if they open the post, while not bogging down the feed with text if the person isn’t going to engage with it.
Also, thank you for putting in the time to keep this place safe and encouraging for us!
I have beaten this game twice and somehow didn’t know Nocturne was trans and voiced by Abigail.
For me at least, there’s a weird “zen” to the dysphoria and fear. Not that it’s pleasant, of course, but if I feel that strongly about something, even in a negative way, it reinforces the identity that much more.
“I wouldn’t be afraid if this didn’t matter to me. Avoiding opportunities for dysphoria means the incongruence with my body is real, I am not making this up.”
Here is a reply I made to Alteon which I think adds helpful context. I do think some of their concerns had validity, even though I don’t believe they applied to my situation. Also, thank you for moderating this community!
"Thanks for sharing your perspective. I read through your other comments as well. Thankfully, my wife is in a very solid place at the moment. I was able to take the first 2 months off work to help raise our child, and we made sure to make financial arrangements where she could take extended time off work before returning to her career. We haven’t had any sort of “Mac and Cheese” moments like you mentioned. A big part of why I haven’t already told her anything is because I wanted to be sure she felt secure and comfortable when we had this conversation.
Another thing I’d like to add is that having a child was a very difficult decision for me. Obviously it’s a big deal for both of us, but she actually wanted a child. When she and I were dating, we agreed not to have children. About a year into our marriage, she changed her mind. We talked about it for years, and eventually we agreed to be a one-and-done family. I wanted her to be happy; I didn’t want to deprive her of a child. Furthermore, I realised I would rather have her in my life with a child, than no child without her. She never gave me such an ultimatum, but I never wanted to get close to something like that. I certainly don’t think I have “saddled” her in the way that word implies.
About this conversation we are planning to have. I do expect it to go well. I am not certain, but I expect it to. Part of the reason is I am not sitting her down to say, “this is how things are, deal with it.” Like the rest of our relationship, we will have an open dialogue about what works best for us. I have made many sacrifices for her over the years, and I will happily make many more. She has done and will continue to do the same for me, even if it doesn’t necessarily look the way I would hope it to. That is the nature of compromise.
If all that comes from this is that she knows about my dysphoria and the daily struggle it is for me so that I can confide in her about it, that’s okay. Even better if she is fully supportive, but I want to continue having a relationship where we share our strengths and weaknesses with each other. This is the one piece of me that hasn’t been shared.
If this makes me sound like an asshole, then I don’t know what to say. Hope you continue having a nice day."
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I read through your other comments as well. Thankfully, my wife is in a very solid place at the moment. I was able to take the first 2 months off work to help raise our child, and we made sure to make financial arrangements where she could take extended time off work before returning to her career. We haven’t had any sort of “Mac and Cheese” moments like you mentioned. A big part of why I haven’t already told her anything is because I wanted to be sure she felt secure and comfortable when we had this conversation.
Another thing I’d like to add is that having a child was a very difficult decision for me. Obviously it’s a big deal for both of us, but she actually wanted a child. When she and I were dating, we agreed not to have children. About a year into our marriage, she changed her mind. We talked about it for years, and eventually we agreed to be a one-and-done family. I wanted her to be happy; I didn’t want to deprive her of a child. Furthermore, I realised I would rather have her in my life with a child, than no child without her. She never gave me such an ultimatum, but I never wanted to get close to something like that. I certainly don’t think I have “saddled” her in the way that word implies.
About this conversation we are planning to have. I do expect it to go well. I am not certain, but I expect it to. Part of the reason is I am not sitting her down to say, “this is how things are, deal with it.” Like the rest of our relationship, we will have an open dialogue about what works best for us. I have made many sacrifices for her over the years, and I will happily make many more. She has done and will continue to do the same for me, even if it doesn’t necessarily look the way I would hope it to. That is the nature of compromise.
If all that comes from this is that she knows about my dysphoria and the daily struggle it is for me so that I can confide in her about it, that’s okay. Even better if she is fully supportive, but I want to continue having a relationship where we share our strengths and weaknesses with each other. This is the one piece of me that hasn’t been shared.
If this makes me sound like an asshole, then I don’t know what to say. Hope you continue having a nice day.
I’m glad things went well for you! Trying to work up the courage to say something soon; almost did last night with all the support I got from here yesterday.
I’ve been saying since EVs hit the market that I couldn’t wait for them to be cheap enough used for me to justify purchasing one. That hasn’t happened yet. Most I’ve ever spent on a car was $7k.