I was a student for many years (5 years of undergrad, 2.5 years of grad school), and I became very comfortable with always being able to look at the syllabus and my grade and know what I needed to do and how well I was performing. Work isn’t like that. Like I think is normal, I get a performance review once a year. I find this unsettling, because even though I come in and do decent work, I still often feel like I’m doing something “wrong” and worry that I’m secretly on the cusp of being fired. Folks who have maybe been working for longer than I have, how do you feel and stay confident in your work?
Impostor syndrome is a thing and it’s common. I’ve been in my industry for 15 years and still lack confidence and feel like everyone else is better than me. The approach that worked for me is to know what I’m aware I do a good job at, and make sure the people who can influence my performance reviews are aware of it. Play to your strengths. In the corporate environment, what matters is what you’re perceived as, not what you actually are. If your performance reviews are good, then you should be fine and know what to keep on doing. If you have a good relationship with your manager, it would also help to ask them directly what things they think you can improve on. Don’t wait for the performance review to tell you that, so you can work on it before it goes on record.
Yeah, impostor syndrome is a good way to describe it, and it does indeed suck. That’s all good advice though, thank you! It is such a strange change of pace to be judged on perception and not purely ability, especially since I feel like I’m not very good at reading other people and knowing how to manage relationships like that. People skills aren’t my forte, hence a career in engineering lol
Fortunately I think my manager does view me well, so I can try to reassure myself with that
I can add that I’ve built a career on rubbing elbows with the right ppl. You don’t have to be the best, you just have to be likeable and decently competent. As bad as it sounds, people relations first, productivity second.
I’m not the type to slum it for a paycheck, but I’ve found that good perceptions are everything. Balance technical ability with relationship management and you’ll be golden.
Oh, and I still regularly struggle with imposter syndrome, despite the above…
I’ve been a carpenter since I was 18 and a finish carpenter since i was 30. I’ll be 52 this year. So I’ve been doing this for 34 years. By all regards, I’m an expert in my field. My work has been on magazine covers, my work has won awards for architects and designers. I’m known by name by top builders and firms in my area. I now run jobs as a superintendent and/or project manager. I get calls to come work for other companies on the regular.
I still have zero idea why. Like, I just tell people what to do in an order that makes sense. And before that, I beat nails into wood. It wasn’t till about 3 or 4 years ago when my wife took me aside and explained to my face that, yeah, I’m really good at my job that I started to realize that, yeah, I’m pretty good at my job. But everyday, driving in, I’m still just a kid that’s in over his head. I don’t feel confident at work. I know on one level I’m doing OK, I mean I must be, right? But I just come in and do my best and hope it’s good enough. Turns out, that it usualy is good enough.
And I can tell you this. Anyone that walks around super confident in their work, usually sucks at their job. I’ve seen dozens of people claim that they’re the best around, only to get axed or laid off as soon as possible. Don’t bother being confident in your work, be confident that you’re doing the best that you can do and be confident that you have the ability to keep learning.
Anyone that walks around super confident in their work, usually sucks at their job.
I make it a genuine rule that anyone who has to go out of their way to tell me how great they are, is not someone I am going to believe. Especially if it’s the first thing out of their mouth.
If it’s mentioned casually after X amount of months of working with them, then I’ll stop and take notice
I think the bigger factor is, someone who already thinks they’re great probably isn’t working on noticing and improving their weaknesses. Someone who thinks they still have a lot to learn is putting a lot of effort into improving.
So, especially if they’ve felt that way for any significant length of time, it’s no wonder which person will end up being better.
It’s this exactly. The minute you stop learning, or think you know it all, is the minute you start declining. There is always something new to learn, some new innovation, a new system or procedure. I believe this is true for absolutely everything. I think it’s why older generations get bitchy about “these kids today” too. Shit changes and people stagnate because they know it all already.
But just keep a clear head, know that life is dynamic and try to find the joy in the process of getting better, don’t get hung up on the goal of doing it perfect or being the best. Anyone of value will recognize your effort to simply improve.
My advice would be that every time you don’t feel confident, communicate that and try to get more information.
If doing that open communication gets you fired, it will lead to a better workplace where you can try again.
If you’re in a company culture that will support you, then exposing your feelings of low confidence will bring information to you that you can use to increase your competence, and it will also signal to your management that you need performance signals in order to calibrate your efforts.
I once quit a company because I thought I was about to be fired and didn’t want the firing on my resume. It was a small company, and the CEO was desperate to understand why I was quitting. Eventually my cover story about “oh it’s not right this and that” yielded to me telling the truth that I had tried to get ahead of a firing, and you know what he said?
“We think you’ve been an excellent employee and it’s obvious to me that we haven’t done a good enough job of communicating that to you.”
Sometimes a culture is truly bad, and totally incapable of supporting its employees. Other times a culture is just getting rusty in terms of providing those signals.
It’s normal, even in professional adult life, to need signals in order to feel confident in any kind of relationship.
That company was making the same mistake with me that I’ve made in some relationships: assuming that “the love” was obvious and a given. In my case, I should have bought my ex flowers more. In their case, they should have said “good job” more often.
I’d say the main thing then is to acknowledge that you need signals, understand that it’s normal and healthy of you to need those signals, and finally to understand that sometimes a company’s just being a little lazy about sending them. Other times the company is actively, purposefully, or possibly unconsciously but inescapably, keeping you sweating as a matter of policy.
In terms of differentiating between those two — company that’s slipping a little in terms of support, or a company whose very nature is antithetical to support — in both of those your best move is the same: tell them that you don’t feel confident, and that you need occasional positive feedback in order to feel secure in the job.
Focus on being trustworthy more than your performance.
I recently saw a video from Simon Sinek that helped me understand what is valued in a team member. It’s only 2 and a half minutes long, give it a watch.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://www.piped.video/watch?v=PTo9e3ILmms
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
I can’t speak for others, but some people… just… don’t. I’m one of them. Perpetual impostor syndrome for almost a full decade at the same company.
I might simply genuinely be incompetent but too nice to fire, I dunno.
Unfortunately performance reviews are basically made to make you feel that way and to have them prepared for just that. Its not completely intentional but most bussinesses have layoffs on a regular basis (at least in tech) some just go to where they keep a core and contract out a lot. Those layoffs hit leadership to on top of people leaving since loyalty works both ways. This causes what you do to change from when they set your goals at the begining of the year to what you are doing at the end. Most managers should sorta realize that and take you into account. If my reviews are not positive I take that to mean the company does not like my work and a sign to look for someplace that needs my skillset more.
It’s really hard to get fired once you’ve been hired.
Imagine having to talk to a bunch of people, read a ton of resumes, train people, and then at least a fifty fifty chance they are worse than you at your worst and they need to start all over.
You either need to be a personality that people who can fire you just hate and don’t want to be around, or be so bad at your job that people will volunteer for one of the tasks they least like doing over the course of their job just to get rid of you.
Or, money just dries up and they need to make cuts, in which case it doesn’t matter how good you are unless it’s between you and someone else, and even then it’s going to be weird shit like who has a family or who made them laugh at the Christmas party that’s the deciding factor because it’s actually really hard for most people to correctly gauge the capacity and skill of others.
The secret to being seen as a great value to the company is to just do work you feel like is pretty good, and not give any fucks beyond that.
I am in a similar situation in that I often feel like I’m doing things wrong and could be reprimanded at any time. This is not how work is supposed to be structured, even by ghouls. Good managers give clear expectations, and regular, informal feedback. This actually makes their jobs better, because when people are comfortable they don’t hide problems - which is an action that can lead to huge failures later on.
So, I think what you’re experiencing is common, and is a byproduct of poor management. I have had good managers and the difference in work culture is astounding. One can be confident at work with good management.
Otherwise, you just have to assume you’re doing a good job, or you can actually just ask for clearer definition of goals and tasks, which might help.
I have had good managers and the difference in work culture is astounding.
I second this. My last manager was absolutely fantastic! Hands down the best manager I’ve had, we constantly had informal chats so I knew where I stood and what I could improve upon. He was also really good at pushing you a little further than you thought you could and would then help you grow a whole bunch.
That’s the neat thing, I don’t.
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Welcome to imposter syndrome, it means you’re a professional.
As far as how you can be more comfortable that heavily depends heavily on what your job is. Some jobs have more direct feedback than others. But largely it will just take time. You’re still the new guy from the sound of it so it will take time to learn how your workplace works and what the exact expectations are. In the mean time just remember that as long as you aren’t consistently getting negative feedback on the same things then odds are you’re doing perfectly fine. Doing things wrong ocasionally is expected because you are human, but as long as you are learning from those times then you are already doing better than a lot of people. If nobody is telling you that you aren’t meeting expectations at your reviews then either you are meeting expectations or you have a bad manager.
What helps me is working with and helping new hires. Showed me how far I have come and how much I have grown.
Get to know the people you work with and learn who you can bounce ideas off of.
Once you have a couple of work friends you can more easily figure out what those around you think of you.
I was in school while working (in my 40s no less) and as part of my classes I was asked to poll my coworkers about my strengths and weaknesses.
I learned that I was liked, valued, and that it was noticed when I was out sick, which was often.
It really helped me as I just assumed nobody really noticed me at all.
Chances are that you are the one judging yourself.
Also, be the one who speaks up in meetings. It helps give others permission to speak up as well.
To be fair, you are always on the cusp of being fired/laid off. Even if you’re the backbone of the company, the best employee, etc.
Also remember that expectations of young people in a lot of businesses are very low. That’s why they pay the young so poorly 🤷.
If you seem to be getting work done and your boss isn’t bitching then you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. Don’t worry about it.
Also, when you’re young change jobs every year or two! It’s the best way to make considerably more money over time and no, it will not hurt your resume in the slightest. It merely shows initiative and the fact that everyone wants you (i.e. you’re competent).
I feel like I had the same feelings surrounding work after graduating college. I got out of it by thinking, “What would a confident person do in this situation?”
eventually, my confidence rose a lot and I stopped thinking like this because I became a person with a lot of confidence.
also, don’t go so hard on yourself. if youre doing a good job and your superiors are letting you know the work you are doing is great, there is no need to stress. is there something in particular about your job that makes you feel like you’re not putting in enough effort?
I don’t think there is anything in particular that makes me uneasy in this job, but it has happened to me before that I thought things were fine when I was unexpectedly let go. So the fear is a little more real in that sense
Of course there are times when I look at the internet on my phone or whatever, but I have plenty of work to keep me busy, and I’m not falling behind either. So I assume that I’m doing the right amount of work, since no one is complaining
Trust your manager and the people who hired you. They picked your for a reason. Sometimes it’s not what you think makes a good employee in this position, but something much more specific to the team or situation you’re in. If in doubt: Ask!
Many times people who come straight from uni don’t feel productive enough, because they can’t be productive for 8 hours straight. But that’s normal. Staring at the ceiling blankly on occasion is normal too. If you’re doing your best and the matter you’re working with is working well for you, then you’re very likely fine.
There’s always a bit of impostor syndrome in all of us, but still try to get comfortable and trust your colleagues. Ask for feedback from your superior, if you’re unsure.
