• khannie@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    I initially thought this was going to be an onion article, but here we are. Class.

  • danc4498@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWarswarehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

  • Th4tGuyII@fedia.io
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    11 days ago

    Honestly using Infowars to raise awareness of gun violence in a satirical way with help from Everytown is such a middle finger to Alex Jones and I’m all here for it

  • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    I’m a little worried that, like the Colbert Report, the weirdos won’t realize we’re making fun of them.

      • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        It’ll be fucking hilarious but it’s not gonna break them out of their bubble. Not even if they give a speech at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, assuming we ever have one again.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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          11 days ago

          I don’t know that they can be broken out at this point. We’ve reached near-Heaven’s Gate levels. They just haven’t all drank the poison at the orders of Dear Leader yet.

          • Billiam@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            Ladies and gentlemen, great patriots all across this occupied country of the former United States of America- it’s time now for us to take the fight to the devil directly.

            Last night, I woke up and God told me it was 4 a.m. I was literally told, “Go look at the clock. It’s 4a.m. Get up, and go look at your phone.”

            Four AM! I’m like, This is really God! and God goes “Yeah. And I told you 45 seconds ago, now 15 countdown!”

            And by the time I was like, bluhbluhbluhbluh okay it’s been about 3 so 12, 11, 10, 9… and this happened! On my children! And right at zero, bloop! Four-oh-one! And I’m sitting there while I’m looking at the phone, pissing, at 4:01 going My God! Literally directly communicating with me in space live time!

            And then he told me to sell to all the patriots the Final Supplement! And it will give us the power to fight the Devil because we’re gonna win! So go over to drjonesnaturals.scam and buy all of them! Give them to your wife! Your daughter. Your dog- you don’t want to leave Fido here with the Satanic Globalists, do you? They’ll be on sale for the rest of the month.

            -Something Alex Jones may or may not have said mixed with something Alex Jones may or may not say in the future.

      • TOModera@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        That’s an honest question. There was a recent F.D. signifier video on edgewood films and if satire works or not.

        To save you an hour: While yes, satire is funny and informative for those of us on the left, and they show a great degree of well made art which you should enjoy, those who support what’s being satired aren’t impacted. Rather they ignore the overall message and cheer on the negative aspects being made fun off. Which wouldn’t be a problem if it didn’t amp up terrible aspects (violence against marginalized groups, for instance) and thus end up getting people hurt and/or killed.

    • AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      If nothing else, it’s diverting views and revenue from whatever genuine right-wing media they’d be watching otherwise.

  • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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    11 days ago

    Beautiful! I can’t wait to see what they do with this. They could even do what Fox does and just repeat Onion articles on Info Wars, and then report InfoWars nonsense on the Onion.

    I guess the guy that bought the Onion was actually being honest about loving it and letting it grow.

    • moody@lemmings.world
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      11 days ago

      They brought back the paper edition of the Onion and also gave the writers more freedom to write random shit. It sounds like they liked what The Onion was and want to make more of it.

  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    The Onion’s parent company, Global Tetrahedron

    Eee! They named the parent company after the evil corporation parent company in The Onion Movie! That makes me unreasonably happy! 😂🥰

  • JoYo@lemmy.ml
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    11 days ago

    Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

    • frezik@midwest.social
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      11 days ago

      I hope it’s a lot. The money here is going to the families of Sandy Hook victims. There isn’t nearly enough to cover the full court ordered payout, but it’s essentially a donation to them with extra steps.

      • DandomRude@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        I know, but why should someone other than Jones pay up? He has obviously put aside a lot of money that is due to those affected - he will make even more in the next trump turn. If he gets away with that and shows that it’s worthwhile to run a business as immoral as his, others will do exactly the same.

        Edit: nvm, I forgot that Trump still owes the state of New York half a billion dollars for massive financial fraud that he will never pay because the US citizens elected him the next president. Well, too bad the US legal system doesn’t prosecute anyone personally - especially not with criminal charges. Sorry, I always wrongly assume that the US has a semi-functioning legal system. My bad.

  • ieatpwns@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    I had hope that the onion would buy infowars and just post all factual news about the presidents antics on info wars and keep the onion satire. But then I realized that would be too good.🤞🏼